Aftermath + Twilight + Lotsa Stuff

Yarr, I know I haven't update my blog for ages. So, sue me. But wait, you can't. Mwaha.

*cough* Sorry. I blame the mean-ness on my flu.

What have I been up to? Read below.

1) I tasted freedom at Nov 25th (translation: me finals ended on that day! w00t!)
2) I always thought Twilight's a bit overrated, maybe because of the attention it received.
3) I have a few friends who told me how 'godly' Twilight novel is, but I am unconvinced (because most of them aren't avid readers, and are probably impressed at anything they read, no offense! ><')
4) Plus, most avid readers found the novel a bore.
5) Anyways, I've watched the movie on Nov 30th (Sunday). The sceneries and effects are nicely done. I can't say much about the story, but I won't say it's bad... but that doesn't mean it's good. I guess it really depends on one's perception.
6) Then, I watched Madagascar 2 on Dec 1st (Monday) with Keh Huat and his gang.
7) My relatives came on Dec 1st, if I'm not mistaken. Had to babysit a young cousin who's somewhat hyperactive; he can't sit still... unless my parents are in the same room, then he'd be an angel. 8) And then, I watch Wild Child on Dec 7th (Friday) with an old friend of mine.
9) Went to Singapore and caught a cold on the Dec 9th (Sunday).
10) Came home on Dec 9th due to some... ahem, somewhat embarrassing reason.
11) Went back to Singapore again on the next day. 1
2) I thought raining-the-whole-day only applies in games (coughHarvestMooncough), but it rained the whole day on Dec 10th (Monday)... my cold worsens.
13) Yay for Borders Warehouse Sales. Managed to get Tales of Beedle the Bard by JK Rowling (and several other novels)!!
14) Curiosity made me bought Twilight too. Let's see if it's really as good as my friends said.
15) Came back from S'pore on Dec 11th, and rediscovered my passion for reading; finished a book (Dreams Made Flesh by Anne Bishop) in 2 days.
16) Jing Ling is coming tomorrow. Oh hell.
17) Li-Lynn's birthday is on the 14th. Yipes, gotta prepare something for her.
18) ComicFiesta's on the 20th and 21st. If I go on 20th, I'd be able to see Balqis... but there's a popular demand to go on the 21st (probably coz there's a cosplay competition on that day).
19) I hate catching colds. My plans on catching up with some of my old friends is ruined. ;_;
20) I rarely update my blog. I'm lazy. I prefer deviantart. ._.'

So, yup.

Calm Before The Storm

Other than the constant sleepiness that's been creeping into my system (post-assignment tiredness?), I've been feeling at peace lately. Is it because of the satisfaction of finishing my assignments? The love and support that came from my family, lecturers and tutors? The contentment of having friends that cares?

All, perhaps.


Of course, I know very well that this is just a calm before storm. Peace won't last. Soon, I'll be pulled into an assignment/exam/revision hurricane... but I want to cherish this little peace, even if I know it doesn't last.

*has a sudden idea for a story, but quickly pushes it away*

Well, here are some notes to summarize how I've been doing:

1) I slacked during my 1-week-long Hari Raya hols. I didn't touch my books 'til Sunday, and that was because I had to finish my BIS assignment.
2) My hols is quite eventful... and it could have been more eventful, but I have no transport.
3) I was invited to Keh Huat's house for a BBQ on Tues night with his gang (which consists Yean Siah, Wilson, Jenq (Jing?) and Ian(sp?).
4) I went out with Lynn on Wednesday. Watched Accuracy of Death. Someone in Speedy's interested in mah pessimistic friend. XD
5) Yay for Lecturers' love~! *cough*
6) Hui Ling came to my house for MCB help. She's impressed.
7) Made a promise to my cousin. If it works well, you might see my name in the shelves. ;3
8) Recently, I view my Marketing group leader with newfound respect. I mean, sure, I think he's a great guy and I salute his social skills... but the last presentation and the recap about Branding shows me he can actually do more than usual, and that's when the respect came.
9) And that's when I've stopped stressing about my Marketing assignment.
10) But it's still not over.
11) 3 more assignments to go. I dunno if I should be happy because I don't have to do more for the year, or sad because the last of the assignments means how close my finals are coming.
12) I'm gonna have block lectures for 4 consecutive weeks. Already gone through 2.
13) I've been slacking with my studies. I pray my study spirit returns... but not enough to consume me and derive me of my creativity.
14) Poor Keh Huat's sick. Hope ya get well soon~! =3
15) Ate sushi in Sushi King, Sunway Pyramid with Stanley, Ngam... something, Rachel, Keh Huat, Jennifer and Xian Qing! Wish we can have more daring times like this. And no, we didn't skip class; we're just in time. We're goood kids. =3
16) Old bonds hung in front of me, tempting me to reforge and renew it. I guess I'm a bit nervous... I pray I will have the courage to renew and restrenghten it, but
17) Everything comes with a price. I have a feeling that doing so would require me to make sacrifices, and I'm afraid the sacrifices would be too great that I'd lose foot of the familiar.
18) But one must take action in order to change, may it be for the better or worse. Because humans are everchanging, and they shouldn't trap themselves in a time... frame thingy? Am I actually making any sense?
19) I feel lazy! D='
20) But I'm still going for the final block lecture for Law. So yay.

Tag *gets shot*

Li-Lynn
1. What’s the relationship of you and her/him?
I'm the counselor. She's my patient. We're a twisted duo who set out on soul-searching trip.

... In an alternate dimension, anyway. In reality, we're just goood friends. =3

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him?
- emo
- emo
- emo
- emo
and
- emo

[- sensitive [in a good and bad way]
- kind heart
- misunderstood
- lack of faith in oneself
- artistic (potential!)]

3. The most memorable things she/he have said to you.
"Thanks for today de! I was feeling very down down. Amm Amm you. You will always be my dear dear! >:]" - SMS quote, plus others that show her faith in me... which I can't remember atm *has a horrendous memory*

4. The most memorable things she/he had done for you
Walking all the way to TBS to let me see her princess curls, plus other err... self-proclaimed self-sacrificing actions. XD


5. If she/he becomes your lover, you will
Protect my 'butt butt' from getting bitten. It must remain smooth; no bite marks allowed~!

6. If she/he becomes your enemy, you will
Umm... umm... Attempt to scare her with thoughts beyond her evilness!

7. If she/he becomes your love, she/he has to improve on
Stop being emo, damnit. You're pretty and smart, so thar.

8. If she/he becomes your enemy, the reason is
Emo + temper + hurtful actions/words directed on moi.

9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is?
Make her hate herself less, stop her emo-ness... and make her as opstimistic as Flonne. =D

10. The overall impression of him/her is
Dr. Jekyll (the kind, sensitive side) and Mr(s). Hyde (the emo side)

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you?
8D I dunno. Probably clumsy or forgetful. Or weird or silly... Or cute? Nevertheless, I am not a product of people's thoughts. So whatever. =p

12. The character of you for yourself is?
Wah?

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Shy shy~ =X [common misinterpreted as 'unfriendly' (which ain't true! DX) and 'quiet' (depends~)]

14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is?
I still wanna be myself o.o
Or my mum! She's a great problem-solver. Most mums are! XD
... No wait, that sounds so kinda wrong.

15. For the people who care about you and likes you, say something about them.
=3 It probably takes time to actually know me (unless you're lucky enough to bring up the 'right' topic). But to those who were (unlucky and) patient enough, thank you and sorry for the trouble~! I will cherish you peeps always~ XD

16. 10 people you tag:
... *sigh* I won't force anyone to tag since most have probably done this meme.

BUT I'm tagging Li-Lynn. A must finish!

So... If you have list out 10 ppl, here are the additional Qs ye have to do.

17. Who is No. 2 having a relationship with?
18. No. 3 a male of female?
19. If No. 7 and No. 10 were together, would i be a good thing?
20. How about No.5 and No. 8?
21. What is No. 1 studying about?
22. Is No. 4 single?
23. Say something about No. 6?

Change

"OMG! It's been a long time since we've last met and you didn't seem to change at all!"

... This is an overused line one usually hears from old friends or ex-classmates during a gathering or something.

The thing is, I disagree with this line a lot. And I certainly don't like it when people automatically assumed the other doesn't change because there aren't any visible changes or they didn't change themselves. Whatever the reasons are, I still disagree.

In my opinion, people do change. It is just the matter of whether it's visible or not.

People who change their outer appearance is obviously visible, may it be 'nerds' who wore make-ups, 'populars' who became more extravagant, or maybe a new hairstyle, whatever.

People who change their personality is semi-visible, like the shy became outgoing. Or the loud became quiet. I'd recently met a friend who was once emo became less emo and more... thoughtful about the future. I also had a friend who was somewhat outgoing became very emo (and bored). But sometimes, the changes in personality are so small that it is only noticed by a few. Nevertheless, it is still a change.

However, there are those whose change are less visible (or less noticed/cared). Knowledge is something we gain everyday, may it be during class/lectures or a bit of pondering and discovery. But people don't show it unless circumstances cause them to flaunt their knowledge.

And also, one's taste. This can be both visible and not so visible, but surely you yourself know if you have a change in taste. I know I have. =P

There may be things I've missed, but feel free to add or correct me.

This thought have been lingering in my mind for days, but I brought it up just today because of a recent meeting with an old friend of mine yesterday. And this friend had implied that I have not change... Or, to be more precise, things that aren't my forte is something I would not try EVER (because she thinks it's so not me) when, in reality, I already have... although it's not something I'd like to admit.

So, the point of this entry is: People do change. I'm not saying I did, but I'm not saying I'm didn't. This is something that only I know myself, and not something that everyone would know because, unlike 90% of teenage/young adult bloggers, I do not broadcast my life to everyone in a blog OR in reality. Or, in a simpler/ruder term: I don't whine and bitch, much. >_>

... But if it makes people feel better thinking I'm still the old me, then so be it. I understand that there are people who are afraid of change that they want to seek an ounce of familiarity, because it brings comfort to their hearts that there is still something that has never change... and because they feel better knowing that they're still in control of things.

Whatever people think about me, I won't care because I know who I am, and I have my own reasons for my actions...

I am who I am, and I am definitely not shaped by people's words.

Because I am not the product of the environment; the environment is the product of me.

Yukata~!!

My brother came back from Japan. =3

And, he bought a Yukata for me~ <3

It's white, with some floral patterns! 83

Happy happy happy!! X3

I'm so gonna wear it during my birthday or something! XD

And then, I'll try to post a piccie here. =D

Sloth

Ugh... I suddenly remember why I've stopped blogging before I start this blog.

Several reasons:
A) I just don't have the dedication/energy to update often. ._.'
B) If you ask me to pick between writing a story or my life, I'd rather write a story. 8D
C) Yes, I guess that means I don't like people knowing much about my life...?
D) One word: Sloth.

So, what's happening these days/weeks?

I've battled countless assignments (in fact, I've just submitted one today).

I've also found out that BIS isn't too bad. It just requires some reading, and most of the important texts are probably in the textbook (so unlike Marketing).

LAW is... okay. I always needed some time to digest, but it's mostly okay. In fact, it can be easily mastered if I'm just willing to take some time to make my own notes and prepare myself better. But I'm lazy. >_>'

FA1 is probably my worst, but I'm trying to correct that. Can't afford to screw up in next week's Mid-Sem exam.

Microeconomics is getting harder, but it's not as bad as I thought. Yes, I need to sit and take a look at my notes again. Revise. Do something.

In conclusion, I need to do more revision. 8D

... But I'm lazy. At least, I'm feeling lazy now.

And I'm still playing with a plot in my mind; an idea of a story to be submitted to UniSA Yearbook.

I'm also recently attracted to the anime 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'. It's worth a watch, really. I rarely like main characters of an anime, but Kyon is an exception. I might even post a review here if I feel like it. =3

My brother is coming back from Japan on September 3rd. Yay~

... I'm bored.

New Semester

Gee, how long since I'd last update this? I'm lazy when it comes to blogspot sometimes.

I'd never liked missing the first day of school; it gives me the feeling that I've missed out something important, or that I've just 'penetrated' into a course, or that I'm not getting off into a good start.

Nevertheless, missing the first day was somewhat worth it as I've passed my driving test. (Go me!)

Business Information System seems like a boring subject. Or maybe I just ain't prepared. I'm just not in a studious mood these days. Man, I need some motivation.

... And crap, I haven't even buy my textbooks! I heard there's a stall that sells textbook cheaper than University Bookstore, but I can't remember where!

I hate feeling so unprepared. >_<'

3rd Auntie's Singing Comeback!

If I were to describe my mum's family, I'd say they're Singing Sensations.

Just a quick explanation on my mum's side of the family: I have 4 Uncles and 3 Aunts, so from eldest to youngest, I addressed my uncles as '1st Uncle, 2nd Uncle, 3rd Uncle and 4th Uncle'. Meanwhile, for my aunts, I call them '1st Auntie, 3rd Auntie and 4th Auntie', because my mom is the 2nd eldest among my Grandma's daughters, so to the rest of my cousins, my mom is '2nd Auntie to them'.

Most of my uncles and aunties are somehow connected to the word 'singing'; it is either their 'past', their source of income or their job. Nevertheless, every single of them seemed to have a passion for singing.

My 3rd aunt is under the first category. Since adopting an idyllic life of a housewife, her singing career went on a hiatus for more than 10 years (about 15-20?).

Recently, she was invited to sing at a fund-raising concert for the Sichuan Earthquake.

Result: She rocked the whole house.

So...

Check out the videos! Give her your support!

Dabliu Tee Eff

Monday was a crappy beginning for me, with a long chain of events happened due to my carelessness.

Starting with not bringing my wallet to college.

... And things that are too embarrassing to be written here. So, I'll leave it to everyone's imagination.

Urgh, yes. Monday soooo crappy that, after lunch with the 1.5 gang, I sought for solace in Main Campus library to print out the latest ADA notes (and recover from the shameful ordeal).

While I was surfing to my heart's content, Keh Kuat came over to my seat and asked, "Hey, did you check your blog?"

My half-dead blog with almost little to zero people who knew of its existence? "Nope."

"Oh," He scratched his head. "Someone commented your entry."

I blinked. "Wha? Really!?"

"Yeah, someone commented in your entry and blogged something-"

"Who was that?" I was pretty excited. "Guy or girl?"

He frowned, struggling to remember. "It's a guy. Jenson or something."

"JENSON!?" That emo-looking dude whom I'd talked with on Thursday; who possesses an un-emo-ish passion for ghost stories, mangas and games; writer of an emo-looking blog; has a wide network of un-emo-looking friends?

"I dunno," He waved his hands in defeat. "Why don't you check it by yourself?"


I did.


And I sms'ed Balqis, heart brimming with excitement.


Yes, that casual conversation on Thursday... It was something that has inadvertently lit my creativity flame, urging me to finish my incomplete stories (both fanfics and original stuff). It was hard to continue my old works when college assignments piled up, with more new ideas born and await for a chance to be released.

Writing is a passion that began when I was standard 4. I used to write a LOT when I was in primary and secondary school, filling useless exercise books with childish, silly stories. And, unlike Jenson, I still have most of them (even the first 'book' I've written!) =P. Most of my friends in school encouraged me to be a writer, often joked that I must give them free copies of my first published book. One of most memorable encouragement was from a primary school friend, who confessed that books are his bane, but claimed (adamantly) that he would read mine (if I'd ever publish a book) even if he has to search every single words in the dictionary. I was sooo honoured!

Writing is in my family's blood: My dad writes movie critics in newspaper, my mum is the head publisher of a Buddhism magazine and my elder brother... is a genius writer/blogger/director. >_>'

... But of course, I'm not as good as my family. My writing skills are limited; there are times I have to resort to drawing just to express my creativity. So, the journey to become a 'word manipulator' and a 'recognized writer' is going to be a long one... ^_^'

Well, thank you for the recognition, Jenson. Let's work hard to achieve our dreams for the future, w00t! =P

Drained

I'm just... so drained to post these days.


Or maybe I'm just plain lazy?

It's like one wave after another. Assignments, relatives, exams... Crap, I want some peace. And when peace comes, the void of loneliness formed. I'm conflicted. I felt dried-out. I want to approach others, to expand my horizons... but my weary mind can't think of any topics except study study study. My early months hyped has vanished, replaced with old timidity. Writing and drawing is a rare hobby I find in Malaysians (or maybe I just didn't seek them enough).

... x_____x' I seriously need a break.

Tag, you're IT!

Shucks, everyone seemed to be doing this tags with different questions. I'm taking this from Judith~

Instructions : Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will haveb lessings from all.

1. Are u hot tempered?
Nope. In fact, almost none of my friends actually get to see me angry before... But I do have my limits. =3

2. What is your favourite FOOD?
Bah Kut Teh, Miso Ramen, Oyako Don, Pizza, Maid's Cooking... It'll take days to list out.

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Rome. Or some historical cool place I've never been to. =3

4. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
That all my dreams would come true. >.>'

5. What would you do when you feel sad?
Write about it, play games/read/RP/rant to dull the sadness and move on. Time's ticking, yo.

6. What makes you disappointed?
Hmm.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
a) Give some to my parents
b) Charity
c) Travel~
d) Shop, shop, shop
e) Deposit rest to bank

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him / her?
That depends, but I doubt it. Leave the confessing and woo-ing to the guy!

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you
Since I got this from Judith... Well, she's carefree, somewhat talkative and helpful =3

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Loyalty is a must, mature and thoughtful, understanding etc.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Uncouth souls. >.>

12. How do you treat your woman / man around your friends?
Um, same? o.o'

13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or wound you rather they keep quiet?
Point out to me, albeit gently~ 'X3

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family, Friends, Studies... LOTS!

15. If there's an option, what would u like to do in the future?
To be the next JK Rowling. >.> <.< >.>

16. What makes you feel happy?
Helping someone, family and friends, accomplishment

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My shyness. I'm painfully shy~ ._.

18. What is the first thing u will think of to do when u r bored?
Ideas. For my next story. XD

19. If you can turn back the time, what will you do?
Relieving memories of the past. =3

20. What time is it when you finish this quiz?
9.53pm. w00t!

I tag anyone who's reading this! =P

Gosick

Storyline:

Set in a fictional European country in 1924, Kazuya Kujo is studying abroad at the prestigious Saint Marguerite Academy, where urban legends and horror stories are at rage. For this reason, The Japanese boy is often shunned by his fellow students, who dubbed him 'Reaper' for his black hair. His only friends are Avril, a girl who's hyped about ghost stories and Victorique, an eccentric girl (also one of the main character of the story) who does not attend classes but spends most of her day in the library.

Victorique has a reputation for her brilliant deductions that helped solve several uncrackable cases. Thus, it isn't surprising when a nearby town’s come to seek her advice on a mystery of a fortune teller's murder...

The murder case seemed simple enough, but it actually has a complicating story behind this... and is, somehow, connected to a ship which supposedly sank ten years earlier with a cargo of murdered children, Queen Berry.



Ranking: 3.5/5

Comments: Described as a 'modern twist on Holmes and Watson', this story's certainly quite interesting. The story's somewhat predictable if you read everything carefully, but there are still surprises in store. There's a bit of a character development, with plenty of room for the sequels to fill. I won't say this book is terrific, but I won't say this book is bad either.

If anyone's interested, I'm always happy to lend it. Just ask! ;)

>.>'

Thursday.
Peaceful compared to the last few days I've endured.

Yet, the peace makes me careless.

1. I forgot to bring my handphone!
2. I forgot to bring my pencil box...

And it just HAVE to be today, when my mum's picking me late... when I have to meet up with AK to discuss about the Accounting assignment... when I have to return Marketing lecture 8 notes to KH... when I'm in a hype to plan my assignments and consult teacher later. WAH!


On the side note, I've submitted my Marketing assignment. Yesterday's presentation is the smoothest my group has ever done. I guess presentation isn't that scary (when you're ready, that is)~ XD

I'm gonna put up a review of Gosick later.

Fatigue

... I'm tired.

Sloth and fatigue lodged onto my bones. I feel like crawling into my bed, wrap myself with my warm comforter like how one would wrap a sushi with seaweed and SLEEP... Until my energy's recharged and my mind's clear. Oh, Great Buddha, I need all the energy to tackle my assignment research these days.

Gee, sometimes I wish I can talk as well as I write. >.>'

The urge to write is here, but the chains of stress binded my hands, preventing me from writing my stories.

List of assignments:

1. Marketing [+/- 400 words]
2. Accounting [calculations]
3. Managing Communication in Business [+/- 2000 words]
4. Management [2000-3000 words(!?)]

Right, go go.

WTF!?

I've started printing block lecture handouts from 8.30am, and I've finished at 10.15am.

Too many people are using the printer, resulting a massive jam. My quota was severely reduced by half because of the constant 'click-print!'... until I click the mini printer on the window task bar and found out that the printer has so many task that mine's lined at the bottom. And soooo, I waited by the computer desk, surfing to my heart's content while waiting for my turn instead of crowding around the printer like most students.

Gave all the Japan sounvenirs to most lecturers and tutors, save Ms. Neliza. Couldn't find her for some reason, and I'd forgotten to bring it on Wednesday. Japan photos are still under the err, uploading process (they're too darn big '=/).

Gosh, there are so many things to write. Starting from my Japan trip, my crappy Marketing presentation on last Wednesday (which I don't feel like writing about it >.>'), the trip to Astro to see my mum judging the singers in the semi-finals (I regret not bringing my camera...), 'The Children of Huang Shi' movie (the story ain't bad; it can be quite touching, but the way they 'beautify' the White and make us Chinese seems heartless is a bit... meh) to today's Management block lecture... Goodness, until 7pm.

I'd probably emerge later as a half-zombie. >.>'

Crap, I feel like writing a story. Again.

An Amusing yet Okay Start

Monday.

Trudging back uni/college after spending a week in Japan paradise... How I wish I can feel that 14-16 degrees natural cool air again. But anyway, I didn't come empty-hand, of course; I brought some tidbits (seaweed-covered rice-crackers) to share with my class 1.5 and gifts to bribe for my lecturer and tutor.

Now, the secret about the rice-crackers is: there's wasabi in it. But I, um, inadvertently left out the information. As a result, Balqis almost choked it. Mighty "I love cili padi! This can't beat me!" Zahra took it well... then requested for water later. ShimYi ate it calmly, and later admit that it's quite hot and down it with water. Jun, according to Angeline, exclaimed that there are 'damn many wasabi' in the rice-crackers with his cheeks flushed.

... I think, anyone eat the wasabi-filled rice-cracker without knowing it's filled with wasabi is probably cursing me now. 'XD


Management presentation is horrible because I wasn't prepared or formally dressed (despite Keh Huat's hints), and my group mates seemed to have fell apart: Two didn't do their work and is clueless about the presentation, one's internet went kaput, resulting only TWO people doing the entire slide, or so I've heard. And since I wasn't ready at all... >.>'

All the words I'd said are actually thought up on-the-spot, with help from the slides. I was trying hard to come up with something new because I know I'm not supposed to read the slides during presentation~! x__x'

Alas, it's all over now. Let's hope for the better in the future. v.v'


I gave a souvenir to Ms. Choo (Management tutor), and had a heart-felt talk with her. She was impressed with my brother getting a scholarship to Japan and encouraged me to 'work for it'. Mm, maybe I will. =3

Gave another to Ms. Woo (Accounting lecturer), and put on my best 'innocent yet clueless face' while asking her for guidance. She gave me great tips! X3 ... though I'd probably have to study most of last week's lesson via textbook by myself in order to comprehend what was taught. Shouldn't be a problem, I hope?


Had lunch with Lynn in PEPPERCORN... and bumped onto 2/3 of 1.5 classmates. I'd half-expected them to go "ZOMG YOU GAVE US WASABI! YA WITCH!", but ahh, nothing much happened. 'XD Showed Lynn my NDS, jap doujins and novels I'd bought. w00t!


Returned home... and there was a powercut at 6pm, which lasted for almost an hour. My dad couldn't enter my house coz the gate ain't working, and the key couldn't seem to open the gate.


I guess Monday's is... okay. A mixture of good and bad. 'X3

Demotivated.

The flames of motivation is gone.

For the past weeks, I've been energetic and enthusiastic about UniSA. I like skimming through those awesomely thick books and prepare for next lectures. I love looking at the colourful notes I'd made. I don't mind assignments, much.

But now, I just.. lost that drive. I feel like slacking, not doing anything. I find it harder to concentrate in class. I'm just so loss (but at least I know what's going on in the lesson) and BORED. I felt as if the world had gotten all dark and gloomy, without a single spark of hope left... (or maybe it was raining just now) =/

The approaching Japan trip is making things worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the trip... but I can't help feeling stressed and hopeless at times. There are just so many... so many things to do... And the fact that I have to send my brother off to Japan tonight, plus 'stuff' to do on Wednesday makes me wonder if I can actually finish the assignments in time. And the thought of it sent a chill towards my spine.

Stress and demotivation is definitely not a good combination. I think I better search for my drive. >.>'

Stressed...

What happened during the past week? Well, I had to take up the reins of leadership just to get my group under control. Let's just say, I just couldn't bear to see a group of people sitting in a circle (well, not exactly, but you get my point), trying to figure out who's doing what and end up wasting the whole free hour dawdling.

Maybe I'm just weird, but I usually draw courage and determination from others' fears and fickleness.

But back to the main point: I'd asked if anyone wants to be the leader, they'd go "NUUUUUUU~!" or "DOWAN!!" or "I DUNNO HOW LAAAR~!!".

Sometimes I wonder what's up with students these days. Do they object the role of a leader because they don't want to burden themselves with heavy responsibilities? Or are they afraid of leading? Afraid their peers would jeer at them when they make a mistake as a leader? Afraid to face the teachers? Or is that just what most people call... "teenagers' lackadaisical attitude"? =/

So, the whole week resulted with me being the leader for both Management and Marketing group. (I almost became one for ADA, but I rejected that role. There's just too many to do! >.>')

And being a leader means I have to bug my mates for the sake of handing up their essay parts, pulling my hair in frustration while compiling/editing their work and take my studies seriously so that I can guide some of my clueless groupies. However, I admit shamefully that I'd failed to uphold the last part; I slack for the latest Management readings. As a result, I wasn't prepared for the quiz, and I didn't know what's going on until the day of presentation, when the first two groups presented their materials. x_x'

The stress is building on me.

Japan trip is drawing near. (April 4th)
Have yet to plot on Management assignment. (2 reference books are with me, though)
Started Group Marketing discussion, expect many more to come. (even consulted Ms.Alice about it)
Have to pass up first draft of MCB work through TurnItIn on Saturday. (1000 words!? That's despicable!)
Marketing assignment deadline and marketing quiz tomorrow. (Have not started revising, even)

... I'm really racing against time here. v.v'


List to Write:
1) Killer of Oz*
2) Of Android and Applecots
3) Ashes to Ashes (chapter 4)
4) April Monthly Theme Challenge***

Lessons Learned

A day with a friend, a week of new experiences, an upcoming month of challenges... Valuable lessons learned.

1. Never judge a book by its cover
Because appearance can be deceiving, and not everyone is as happy as s/he seems to be. I've been proven wrong twice; once last week, once today. And it made me realize that I should start giving people a chance, and I should try to increase my feelings of empathy. I was an idiot for missing subtle hints today, but thank goodness it wasn't too late.

2. Always solve a problem QUICKLY
I learned that during my Pre-U years, and I realized this lesson today. If something is bothering you, or if you're ever stuck in an assignment, always get help. Solve it before it piles up and become too late.

3. You haven't hit the rock bottom
Maybe you got into a sticky situation, or the stress and frustration are just building, or you feel as if the world's against you... Sit back, and think hard. Remember, there are people who's probably caught in a situation worse than you. No, I'm not asking you to think 'African kids are poor' far (though if it helps, then continue to do so!), but think of worst-case scenario... and be thankful that you're not in that horrible scenario. Then, work on relieving that stress or solving your case.

Of course, if you reached rock bottom, there's no way to go but up and up! So, never give up! Never surrender! =3

4. People change
And surprisingly, not many people noticed that. Imagine, you have an old friend who was cheerful before. Few years later, you see her/him with the same optimistic expression on her/his face. You would probably think "Ahh, everything's the same as before! (My friend) never changed!"

But the truth is: Everyone does change, including you and I. The present 'me' is definitely different that the 'me' from the past. And for all you know, your friend might be actually hiding his/her pain with that Smile of Deception.

5. Never blog when you're tired
Coz I remember I have lots to write, but I'm feeling sleepy now, and... and...


Zzzz....

Can You Hear The Cries Of The Nation?

It's powerful, yet scary...





... Isn't it?

Flip, flip

New textbooks lie on my table in a pile, mocking me with their size. The heavy air of responsibility hung in the air; the sight of the glinting platinum card used to purchase this books lingers in my mind.


I skimmed through the thinnest one, Communication Skills for International Students in Business. The pages are smooth, and from the contents, I can guess that lots of writing (formal letters, etc.) is expected from this subject. Briefly, I wondered how the textbooks would look like for Mass Communication or Creative Writing. Do those courses actually have textbooks?

As I pondered, I'd started with the next textbook, Management. It was only slightly thicker than the previous book. Colourful pages were riddled with words and pictures. Doubt and fear arose and constricted my chest. In order to master the subjects, one must be diligent and consistent with their work. One might have to make sacrifices in entertainment, favourite hobbies, time... I may be inspired in the beginning, but can I maintain that pumped attitude?

Marketing later found its way onto my lap. The neatly arranged words and the colourful pictures and diagrams was a contrast to its black, depressing hardcover. New concepts and topics filled my vision. Doubts and questions grew. What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? Can I really complete this? Everything looks so hard! Calm down, calm down, maybe I'm just tired from today's orientation?

Dread had filled my chest when I reached for the last textbook, Accounting. It was as thick as the last book of the Harry Potter series. Maybe even a little thicker than that. I flipped opened the pages, expecting more unfamiliar texts and scheming pictures... only to be greeted by welcoming windows, decorated with little words and numbers. Hope blossomed in my heart, ever so suddenly.


Maybe... Just maybe... I can survive this course after all.

Maybe... Just maybe... I'd remember why I'd pick this stupid course.

Old and New

A new year,
A new course,
A new chapter of my life
... And a new blog, of course.

Old doubts still linger,
Old fears waiting to be conquered,
Old stories waiting to be finished (*cough*),
Old ideas waiting to be used.


... Gee, first post is usually when people introduce themselves or the purpose of this blog or whatsoever, but I find it pointless; as blog entries build up, nobody would bother to read the first entry.

Why 'Missing Pages' as the blog title?

Well, my life is like a story book. But one can never truly understand the life, the experiences, the joys and pain of another unless one is there to witness it. This blog is the highlighted missing pages of my life which I shall share with you readers. Highlighted, because reading every single page of one's life is long, difficult and boring.

So, huzzah~